Emotions #21
by KaitlynRose
Summary: Nathan helps Lucas start to heal. Please read & review!!


I do not own seaQuest or it's characters. I am not profiting from this story, it is for entertainment   
purposes only.  
  
  
Numb  
By: Kaitlyn Rose  
  
  
The hospital doctors and Mom had insisted that he and Dad stay in the hospital for 48 hours.   
Mom had explained all the reasons why, trying to pacify him so he wouldn't put up a fuss. He had shocked   
everyone when he had simply nodded his head. The past two days had been hell. Dad was his room mate,   
which everyone thought would make Lucas happy, but Dad kept trying to talk to him, get him to share his   
feelings. Then when Mom came to stay for visiting hours she proceeded to do the same thing.  
  
"You need to talk about it Lucas. It's not good to hold your feelings in. Please tell us what your   
feeling." Those had been the words that had been said to him over and over until he had finally lost it and   
yelled at them to leave him alone. Dad had gotten angry when he had raised his voice to them, but Mom   
had just looked hurt. They didn't understand. How could they? How was he supposed to tell them that he   
didn't feel anything, that he didn't want to feel anything. He just wanted to forget about it.   
  
So both his parents had tried to kill him. Yeah, Lawrence had tried to bury him alive, actually had   
buried him alive. If he tried he could still feel the dirt pressing on him, covering his face, going up his nose   
and in his mouth as he tried desperately to breath. The burning sensation as his lungs cried out for air, and   
then finally the lightheadedness that over came him before he finally blacked out. He blinked several   
times, turning his head as if by moving he could erase the image from his mind. Just thinking about it   
brought a surge of panic. He forced his breathing to even out before Dad heard him and pulled the curtain   
back to check on him.  
  
He wished he could get out of bed and walk around a bit. His fanny was going numb from sitting   
on it for the past forty hours. He hadn't even been allowed up to go to the bathroom. Luckily he had been   
unconscious when they put the catheter in.  
  
Even completely immobilized and pumped full of pain medication his leg throbbed. He could feel   
every beat of his heart in his thigh. He had a fresh batch of stitches, even more this time than the first. He   
had been told that he would be stuck in the wheel chair for at least three weeks, and that under no   
circumstances was he to walk on the leg before then. It had to do with a severed vein or something. He   
really hadn't been listening when the doctor explained it to him.   
  
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He could hear Dad's soft snoring. For most people it   
would have been a sound that bothered them, but strangely enough it was a sound that comforted Lucas. It   
was a sound that had lulled him to sleep on a many a night when he had woken up after a nightmare. He   
knew that he should also be asleep, but for some reason it wouldn't come.  
  
He looked out the window. The sky above the hospital was crystal clear, but off in the distance   
coming off the ocean he could see a storm brewing. Even from this distance he could see the hint of   
lightning as it flashed, but there was no sound of thunder yet to be heard. He wondered what time it was.   
There wasn't a clock in his room, so he really had no idea. He closed his eyes and tried once again to fall   
asleep.  
  
  
_________________________________  
  
  
  
Nathan sat up with a jolt and a gasp. He clutched his hand to his chest, trying to calm his racing   
heart. The nightmare had felt so real. It was like he was truly back in the cemetery watching Lawrence   
murder Lucas, only this time they had been to late to save him.  
  
"You okay, Dad?" Lucas whispered.  
  
"Yeah, I'm okay, kiddo." Nathan's breathing was still fast and it made his words come out fast.  
  
"Bad dream?"  
  
"Yeah, but I'm okay now, really, go back to sleep." Nathan stood up out of his bed and went to   
the bathroom to throw some cold water on his face. His head was feeling much better he noticed. He could   
have actually gone home yesterday, but had stayed to be with Lucas.   
  
"Dad?"  
  
"What?" Nathan asked, walking around the curtain to sit in the chair next to Lucas' bed.  
  
"What was your dream about?"  
  
"Nothing," Nathan replied.  
  
"Was it about the cemetery?"  
  
There was no point in lying. "Yeah, it was about the cemetery."  
  
Lucas didn't say anything, he just looked up at the ceiling.  
  
"Have you slept at all tonight?"   
  
"Some," Lucas said.  
  
Nathan knew Lucas was lying. He tried to read Lucas, see what was going on in that head of his   
since he still had yet to talk about his ordeal.  
  
"Dad, stay out of my head," Lucas said softly.  
  
Nathan was surprised. He wondered how Lucas knew he was doing that, but decided against   
asking since it would also be an admission of guilt, and he felt bad for violating Lucas. Actually, he   
figured what made him feel bad was getting caught.  
  
"Are you okay?" Nathan asked.  
  
"Nothing that three weeks in a wheel chair won't fix," Lucas said sarcastically. Lucas sighed and   
then said, "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for."  
  
"Maybe, but under the circumstances, probably not," Nathan replied. Since they were both wide   
awake, and the darkness made for a calm environment, he decided that now was as good a time as any to   
talk to Lucas about what he had done.  
  
"You know, kiddo, I actually need to have a talk with you," Nathan said as gently as he possibly   
could. He was angry with Lucas, but he knew that if he went about it the wrong way he would either   
frighten the boy, or cause him to put up his protective defenses, and he didn't want that to happen. He   
waited for Lucas to reply, but the boy sat there in silence.  
  
Nathan reached over and turned Lucas' face to look at him. "I need to know why. How could you   
just run off like that? You'll never know how I felt when I walked into that empty bedroom. I felt like   
once again I had failed to keep you safe." Even in the mostly dark room Nathan could see the sparkles in   
Lucas' eyes as they glistened over with moisture.  
  
"I just wanted to save Mom. I got that e-mail and, I don't know. I couldn't let her be hurt because   
of me.   
  
"But still, to run off alone like that, how could you do something so dangerous and stupid?"   
Nathan fought to keep his voice calm. He wanted to yell at Lucas, to really let him have it, but it would   
serve no purpose other than to drive a wedge between them.  
  
"I know it was stupid, but honestly, it seemed like a good idea at the time. He threatened to kill   
her if I didn't come alone. I was just so afraid of Mom dying that I guess I didn't think until it was too   
late."  
  
"Lucas, I know you were afraid, but still, you're supposed to be a genius. You taking off like that,   
not even telling us where you were going, that wasn't one of your better moments. I was worried out of my   
mind, not only was Kristin gone, but you too."  
  
"I'm sorry," Lucas whispered. "I know I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry you got hurt, I just, I just   
had to get her back. Lawrence has caused so much pain already, I couldn't stand back and do nothing. He   
would have killed her, I know he would have. I wouldn't know what to do if I lost you or Mom." His   
voice began to crack as the emotions rose to the surface.   
  
Nathan heard the profound sadness in Lucas voice and he felt his anger go away. While Lucas'   
actions had been reckless, to say the least, he understood why he had done it.   
  
"Lucas, promise me…promise me you will never do anything like that ever again. I mean it. I   
know you had only good intentions, but you almost got yourself and Mom killed. It's nothing short of a   
miracle that we got there when we did. I know your smart, but you're still just a kid, and what you did only   
goes to prove that. You still have much to learn, and I'd like to see you live long enough to learn it."   
  
Nathan could see the tears as they fell down Lucas' cheeks. He grabbed a tissue from the box on the   
nightstand and wiped the boys eyes.  
  
"Promise me," Nathan repeated.  
  
"I promise," Lucas finally said. "Are you mad at me?"  
  
"A bit, but I'll get over it."  
  
"I'm really sorry," Lucas said, crying softly as the events of the last few days caught up with him.   
The feelings that he had been fighting to suppress were insisting on being let loose all of a sudden.  
  
Nathan sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Lucas to him. Lucas buried his face into Nathan's   
chest and really began to sob. Instead of trying to calm Lucas down, Nathan chose to remain silent and just   
let the boy cry it all out, sensing that it was what Lucas needed. He didn't need to be a psychic to know   
that Lucas had been deeply traumatized by what happened to him. Hell, Nathan himself had now had   
nightmares the last two nights about it, and he hadn't even been the one to actually be smothered. He   
couldn't even begin to imagine how terrified Lucas must have been as the dirt rose up around his face and   
finally covered him completely.  
  
Lucas cried for what felt like an hour, but was really more like ten minutes. He was grateful that   
Dad hadn't tried to talk anymore but simply held him close. Finally Lucas' sobs turned into soft hiccups.   
  
Nathan found himself rocking back and forth slightly, still trying to comfort Lucas. He figured   
that if he stayed quiet and comforted Lucas long enough he might actually get him to fall asleep since he   
knew that Lucas was exhausted, physically and emotionally.  
  
Sure enough, about five minutes later he felt Lucas slump against him and his breathing finally   
evened out. Nathan gently laid the boy back in his bed and then tucked the covers up around him. He   
looked at his sleeping son and smiled slightly. He knew they still had a ways to go before Lucas would be   
his old self again, but he had taken the first step in getting over it just now. Nathan leaned over and gave   
him a quick kiss on the fore head before returning to his own bed to get a little more rest. Who knew,   
maybe they'd both be able to sleep peacefully for the rest of the night.  
  
  
  
  



End file.
